How many times have you allowed someone else’s opinions, standards, and values stain how you see yourself?

After a meetup, I was standing on the sidewalk with a friend, waiting for her Uber, when two women from the event approached me. They knew from our earlier conversations that I’ve been a single mom by choice for 16 years.

One of them said, “You’re going to die alone because you don’t wear makeup.”
The second immediately followed with, “No man will want you because you don’t dye your hair.”

Without missing a beat, I calmly responded, “Thank you for sharing your insecurities with me. I’m looking for a man of substance.”

My friend’s jaw hit the floor. The two women simply shrugged, wished me well, and walked away.

What Do You Absorb That Was Never Yours to Carry?

This wasn’t about me. It never was. It was about their fear of aging, their fear of being unwanted, their fear of not measuring up to a standard someone else imposed on them. But how many times do we unconsciously absorb those fears from others?

How often do we hear messages—directly or indirectly—that tell us we’re not enough unless we fit into a mold?

If you don’t look a certain way, you’ll be unlovable.

If you don’t behave a certain way, you won’t be accepted.

If you don’t achieve a certain status, you won’t be respected.


Do you want to know the truth?

Authenticity is an act of self-ownership. And ownership means not letting others define your worth.

As Revelers of Authenticity, we define ourselves. We know our values. We know what we stand for. We know the issue we want to help solve in this world. And we don’t need to shrink, change, or mold ourselves into someone else’s expectations to be worthy.

The more we stand in our own authority, the more we attract the right people—the ones who value us for who we are, not for how well we fit into someone else’s idea of who we should be.

Where have you unconsciously absorbed someone else’s insecurities, limitations, or expectations?

Where do you need to reclaim your authority over how you see yourself?

Let’s talk about it in the comments. And share with 1 person you know who would benefit from this post.