What makes something urgent to you? And why does it sometimes feel like no one else shares that sense of urgency?

“Just because it’s important to you doesn’t mean it’s important to the other person,” I say to my aunt, who’s trying to argue that her daughter, my cousin, doesn’t understand what she needs to be doing.

“But what happens if it needs to get done for her benefit? Is she still right?”

Two things become apparent to me in this moment:

1. My aunt is communicating to win rather than to understand.

2. Everyone has a different perception of urgency.

The Battle for “Right”

When we communicate from a place of frustration or fear, it’s easy to get stuck in the mindset of needing to be right. My aunt wanted her daughter to see her point of view, believing that if her daughter just understood how important something was, she would naturally prioritize it.

But urgency isn’t a universal experience — it’s deeply personal and shaped by our own values, responsibilities, and emotions.

Urgency Is Subjective

What feels urgent to you may not even register for someone else. Leaders see this all the time. One person may believe a project is critical to hit a deadline, while another thinks the real priority is maintaining long-term team morale. Neither is inherently wrong.

The key isn’t convincing others that your urgency is correct. It’s understanding how their perception of urgency informs their decisions.

Shifting from “Winning” to Understanding

Next time you feel unheard or dismissed, consider:

• What’s driving my sense of urgency? Is it fear, pressure, or genuine importance?

• What does the other person value in this situation?

• Am I listening to their perspective, or am I focused on making them agree with me?


True communication happens when we stop trying to win and start seeking understanding.

As Revelers of Authenticity, we know that respecting others’ priorities doesn’t mean neglecting our own. It means creating space for collaboration, empathy, and shared growth.

Have you ever felt frustrated when someone didn’t share your sense of urgency about something important to you? So, what would change if, instead of convincing others to adopt your urgency, you got curious about theirs?

Reflection Question: What conversation in your life right now could benefit from less “being right” and more understanding of different priorities?

Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below, and pass this reflection along to someone who might be navigating their own communication challenges – whether with family, colleagues, or friends.